It's a sign: Mari's guide to the street signs of Paris

There are many very helpful signs all over Paris.  In the case that you might be lost in the streets, here is a handy guide to some of the most essential signs you will come across:

No navel gazing here.  Especially not if you are a green man with no neck.

No music is permitted on the métro.  But dancing is encouraged.

Danger of death: you will be struck by a bolt of red lightning, and then your red body will fall in front of a train.

Get low.

Men in black wearing murses please beware of men in red with long arms. 

Should you desire, anonymous handholding is permitted through this designated hole in the wall.
Should you not desire, feel free to exit through the side door.

Open this emergency door handle by running directly at it, head on. 

 If large slugs should attack, take off your clothes and run to the left.

 Identical twins must stand exactly the same way to avoid danger.

 Thirty men with shovels on a single lane road ahead.

 You might be struck by a bolt of dry lightning here.

Bikes must go underground.   All other traffic must go over this building.

This crosswalk is only for men with no feet wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. 

Bald men with short right legs and small, bald girls with short left legs are not allowed here.

If you love your neighborhood, stick a shovel in your unsuspecting dog's behind.

DANGER TO THE LEFT!